The other day a complete stranger messaged me on Facebook and asked me this:

“Are you a psychic? A medium by any chance? what's my life's purpose? is my dad happy up there?”

And honestly, I paused... then I smiled... then I went to sleep... In the morning, I re-read it again and smiled again... Not because the question was ridiculous, but because somehow, from a few comments I wrote online, this man decided that maybe I “know something” and that I "might be special". Of course, I am! but this is not the point.. Somehow he thought that  maybe I, a complete stranger, could tell him his purpose. Maybe I could tell him if his father is happy after death. Maybe I could give him answers he cannot seem to find inside himself... 

And the truth is… I understand this search much more than people may think. Because yes, I have gone to psychics too. I have sat in front of people with “gifts.” I have asked questions. I have wanted reassurance and guarantees. I have wanted clarity. I have wanted somebody to tell me what is happening, where life is going, whether love is real, whether pain has meaning, whether something bigger exists behind all of this chaos... and I paid money for it... and now I see it so clearly... Based on this man's questions, I could ask him to pay me for my answers...

Honestly here... Mystery attracts me too... It still does! I still occasionally speak to people who are intuitive or gifted in unusual ways, although much less now than before. Not because I suddenly became “above it,” it's just over time I started noticing something important: many people are not truly searching for truth. They are searching for relief from uncertainty.

Human beings are terrified of not knowing.... Terrified of grief.... loss... Terrified of making the wrong decision... Terrified of accepting what they already feel deep down... So I could prey on him...  I guess I am at the point where I see how this game is played... but I chose not to participate in it. 

We all search for someone who will decide for us. Someone who will remove the burden of inner responsibility. Someone who will finally say:

“THIS is your purpose.”
“THIS person loves you.”
“Leave.”
“Stay.”
“Wait.”
“Move on.”
“Your father/mother/wife/kids forgives you.”
“Your future will be okay.”

And this is where spiritual work becomes very dangerous very quickly... Because once a person disconnects from their own inner authority, they become vulnerable to anyone willing to step into the role of “the one who knows”... I could easily do that too if I wanted to... And that is probably the most uncomfortable truth in all of this. 

At this point in my life, I often do not even need to concentrate very long on people anymore. I usually see the emotional core of the question almost immediately. I read between lines... I see the intent - I SEE THEIR PAIN and I see their own suffering they are projecting on others...  Not because I think I am some supernatural chosen being, it is so obvious that human beings are actually incredibly transparent once you understand basics: pain, grief, longing, projection, trauma, desire, shame, and emotional compensation.

People reveal themselves constantly.

The body reveals them.
Language reveals them.
What they obsess over reveals them.
What they avoid reveals them.
The question itself reveals them.

When somebody desperately asks: “what is my purpose?” very often underneath sits: “I do not feel alive in my own life.”  When somebody asks: “Does he love me?” sometimes the deeper question is: “Why am I abandoning myself waiting for somebody who cannot choose me fully?” When somebody asks: “Is my father happy after death?” sometimes underneath there is guilt, unfinished grief, regret, or a desperate longing to feel connected again.

You start seeing the real question behind the spoken question... You start "seeing" the intent behind reason for a result... And yes, I absolutely could manipulate people with that. I could speak vaguely and mysteriously. I could make dramatic statements. I could create dependency. I could become “the wise woman” people keep returning to for answers every time they cannot tolerate uncertainty in themselves.

There is a lot of money in that... But the older I get, the less interested I am in becoming another external authority people use as emotional anesthesia... So instead, I usually try to return people back to themselves. My gifts are to turn YOU upside down, so you scream from that pain first and hate me for it... but later you thank me with all your heart for freeing you. I am not going to become your crutches...

That man on Facebook asked me if his father is happy “up there,” and I redirected him toward his own unresolved relationship with his father, his grief, his longing, and his own inner world. Because I genuinely think people already carry much more wisdom and intuition inside themselves than modern spirituality allows them to believe.

And honestly, I see this pattern everywhere now. I see it in relationships too. I see people endlessly waiting for somebody else to make decisions they themselves are terrified to make. Waiting for fate. Waiting for signs. Waiting for psychics. Waiting for permission. Waiting for somebody stronger to remove the tension of uncertainty.

Sometimes people stay emotionally suspended for years because they cannot tolerate the grief that would come with finally admitting the truth. And the irony is that no psychic can resolve that for them.... Not really... Because eventually every human being arrives at the same unavoidable confrontation: the truth they are running from is already inside them.

Even today I had a conversation with a woman completely consumed by rage after divorce. Her ex-husband immediately found another woman, and beneath all her anger I could feel something shattered inside her because reality did not unfold the way she secretly hoped it would. She kept saying she wants him to “die,” calling him disgusting, horrible, worthless. She asked me to not be vague, but be direct... So I did ask her this: “If he is such a worthless idiot, and the father of your children deserves death in your eyes now… then why did you choose him as a father for not just one child, but for more than one? Why did you build a life with someone you now describe as completely beneath you?”

People hate questions like that. Because suddenly the focus returns to them. Not to that villain! Not to the psychic... Not to some destiny! or to the universe.... and not to abstract “energy.” To themselves.

And that is the place most people spend their entire lives trying to avoid. Because once you stop making another human being the sole problem, you are forced to confront your own blindness, your own projections, your own unmet needs, your own hunger, your own self-betrayal, your own fantasies. You will see your own need behind a question... You are asking me about your purpose... why? What happens when I pretend I give it to you? So what? This is why real inner work is not comfortable. It is much easier to ask a psychic for answers than to sit honestly with your own grief, fear, dependency, loneliness, resentment, or emotional contradictions... and see how much you are a huge part of playing these suffering games... 

Much easier to ask: “What is my purpose?” than to ask: “Why am I disconnected from my own life?” Much easier to ask: “Does he love me?” than: “Why do I keep choosing emotionally unavailable people?” Much easier to ask: “Is my father happy after death?” than: “What inside me still remains unfinished?”

I think human beings are starving right now for something sacred, meaningful, and real. That hunger is genuine. I feel it too. But I also think modern spirituality often exploits that hunger instead of helping people become more conscious. And maybe true spiritual guidance is not about convincing people that you have magical answers. Maybe it is about helping them become honest enough to stop running from themselves. I do not know....