A man is the one who walks toward the Creator, and a woman walks behind him

I was fascinated today by listening to three most amazing men while driving to my forest. I knew 2 of them and one of them was one of my teachers... I always knew it inside of me and I am so glad to see that these men DO exist! They were so brutally honest. This podcast is in Russian, but if you have means to translate it somehow through AI, please do so and simply read these dialogues. I will just summarize in my own words, with my own filter, with my own vision... I felt THIS for many years now... 

There is an order that cannot be undone, no matter how much the modern world tries to rewrite it. A man always walks toward God. He feels this direction not through logic or external "rituals" like "I do to church/temple every Sunday therefore, I am with God"... no, it is something else... it is that inner knowing... of YOUR truth about YOUR life... not how it is supposed to be, but rather how it is for YOU... It is not an idea and not a concept. It is a sensation in the body, quiet and unwavering.  It's that definite knowing IN_YOUR_BODY, without any "authority figure" telling you otherwise. It moves him forward even when he does not fully understand where he is going... This movement is NOT toward a woman, NOT toward recognition, NOT toward comfort or what has been known as his tradition. It is a movement toward the Source. Toward that which is greater than himself, greater than his pride, Ego or fears. ONLY THEN does a worthy woman appear in his field... not as a goal, not as an available vagina for when he needs to release... but as a response to his path... 

A man does not follow a woman, because his nature is to be direction itself. His nature is to move toward truth, HIS truth, toward the Creator, toward the inner vertical axis that makes him alive. A woman never follows a body... She follows a vector... She follows the inner fire... She follows the man’s connection to that which makes him alive... It is this connection that creates the space in which love becomes possible... Not just sex through friction...  Sex is a  simple pleasantry from that connected love. A mutual joy at the end of the amazing day. 

There is a truth many men try to avoid, because once it is seen, there is no one left to hide behind. A man sets the direction. A woman chooses whether she walks beside him or not. Again... a man sets the direction. A woman chooses whether she enters that path or turns away.

She does not create the direction for him. She does not decide his path in his place - I stay and she goes... or I leave and someone else comes... She does not define who he becomes when he grows up, where he goes, or how he lives his life. She is not there to manage his existence, when he needs to eat or poop, or interpret his inner state for him. A woman can respond to direction, she can amplify direction, she can walk with direction, but she cannot replace it. When a man has no direction, he begins to unconsciously look for someone to take that role for him. And that role is his mother typically... He waits to be told what he feels. He waits to be told what he needs. He waits to be told who he is. It is like that old Soviet joke. A mother yells from a window of a tall apartment building and calls up to her son, “Sooon! Time to go hoooome!” And the son shouts back, “Mom, am I tired or cold?” And she replies, “You are hungry!”

It is funny because it is painfully accurate. The boy does not yet know himself. He relies on his mother to interpret his body, his needs, his reality. But a man who never leaves that state remains suspended in dependency. He continues waiting for someone else to define him.

A woman cannot walk beside a man who does not stand in himself. She cannot follow uncertainty. She cannot follow hesitation, doubts and never ending confusion about his path! She cannot follow a man who is still waiting for someone else to tell him who he is... A real woman who is looking for a man can't be his mother, so she leaves... or she builds any possible protection around herself not to be available for him: it could be emotional distance, never ending exhaustion, always being upset or sick, gain weight... endless "symptoms" of why she doesn't want to mother a man she secretly wants to be her equal partner...  A real woman can only walk beside a man who has already begun walking and wiping his own ass. So, the woman watches where he is already going, and her presence either strengthens that path or leaves it. 

A man who has not chosen his path exists in suspension. He begins to look at a woman in the hope that she will decide his fate (at least one of them will). He waits for her to define his worth (or his unworthiness). He waits for her to fill him with meaning. He waits for her to give him a sense of existence. This is a state of inner formlessness. It is a state where a man ceases to be direction and becomes an object of circumstance. His life begins to depend on who is beside him, who supports him, who feeds him emotionally, who stays, and who leaves. Why? Because he is afraid that his penis may not see vagina for a while... CRISIS! It's like a boy who is old enough already, but still goes to his mom to suck on her boob... for that comfort... The boob became vagina.  

But a real woman (not mommy) does not walk toward uncertainty. A woman can only walk toward clarity. She can only walk toward a man who already stands on his path, in his truth. A man who is connected to God does not ask, “Who will choose me?” He asks, “Where is my truth leading me?” And it is in that moment that a woman appears and makes her choice. Not out of pity or fear or necessity. She makes this choice out of resonance with a direction that already exists! 

A woman NEVER makes decisions for him NOR creates a man’s direction. She amplifies it. If a man walks toward God, she amplifies his movement toward God. She accelerates his awakening. She deepens his clarity. She reveals his strength faster than he could alone. Beside such a woman, a man becomes deeper, calmer, clearer, stable, certain, determined, and his body reacts too... Not because she does it for him... it is because she strengthens what already exists!!! 

But if there is no direction inside the man, she amplifies his chaos. She amplifies his doubt. She amplifies his control. She amplifies his fear. She amplifies his inner instability. And everything immature within him begins to surface. A woman beside a man without direction inevitably becomes either his mother or his mirror. She begins regulating his emotional state because he cannot hold himself. She becomes exhausted, cold, or emotionally withdrawn, because it is impossible to endlessly give energy into a space that has no source. Just imagine an abbyss and how much money you will need to have in order to fill it up with dirt? Money is energy, it is a resource. A woman does not amplify a man’s illusion. She amplifies his reality... and sometimes reality for a real woman is that the man is that abbyss... and she has no more resources to try to fill up that stuff with some stability... 

When a man does not feel a connection to God, emptiness appears within him. This is not psychological emptiness. It is existential emptiness. It is the absence of contact with the source of his own life. This emptiness cannot be filled by success, money, recognition, or any woman/availbale vagina on earth. Because a woman is NOT the source of his life. She cannot give him his connection to God. She cannot replace his path. My dad told me the other day that true bankruptcy exists first in your heart before you see it in your life... He is SO RIGHT! 

And so he begins to live from a state of inner hunger... Inside him there is a constant voice saying, “Give me.” Give me attention. Give me love/vagina (sorry, but this is illustrative point through physical image that gets a lot of people confused). Give me energy. Give me confirmation that I exist. This is the state of the eternal boy... Immature... He may change women, because the minute one figures him out - she is out, so the chase continues for another one. He may chase new emotions.... He may search for new sources of energy. But he remains empty, because... he is NOT connected to the source.

The greatest poverty of a man is not the absence of money. It is the absence of contact with the source. And we have a lot of bankrupts in our society... This is the true poverty that is rarely spoken about. Not external, but internal. It is the state of living at the level of survival and never ending hunger... When his interests are limited to safety, comfort, shelter and avoiding pain... These are child's needs... Elemental...  When he does not move forward. When he does not seek. When he does not grow. When he does not become more. Such a man may appear strong on the outside, but inside he remains a boy who is afraid to face himself... to grow up... to actually find HIS path... and God... 

Nature already shows this clearly. In India, researchers observed young male elephants that began destroying villages. They became aggressive, chaotic, and dangerous. Later, it was discovered that these elephants had grown up without fathers. They had no elder males. No figure holding the field. When they were brought into the presence of mature male elephants, everything changed. Their aggression disappeared. Their behavior stabilized. They did not need words. They needed presence. They needed the figure of one who already stood in his place. This is how masculine nature works. A man becomes a man in the presence of direction. But if you are already over forty, you can no longer wait for someone else to become that foundation for you. You become that foundation yourself. For yourself. For your children. For your field. Can you do better than your dad did? 

In one Colombian tribe, boys are initiated into manhood through a ritual of pain. They wear gloves filled with some special ants whose bites cause unbearable suffering. They must endure ten minutes. They cannot run. They cannot remove the gloves. They must remain. Afterward, the men of the tribe lift them and recognize them as one of their own. The point is not the pain. The point is the realization: I can endure difficulty, I can do difficult things with my hands, I can bear extreme difficulties... and remain myself, as a man who can withold it all. I can stand. I can be a man.

Modern society has removed such initiations. Many men remain boys internally. They avoid pain. They avoid emptiness (they want to fill it). They avoid themselves. But any man can undergo this initiation. Each time he stops running from his emptiness and remains present with it, he becomes a man.

We live in a unique time. Women have done immense inner work in recent decades. They have learned to feel. They have studied themselves. They have healed their wounds. They have reclaimed their strength. They have restored their connection to the source. if you go to any spiritual retreat or any spiritual gathering - 90% are going to be women. Why? Because most men remained in an old model. A model where strength is external and emptiness is internal. Where feeling is suppressed. Where vulnerability is denied. Where pain is hidden. Where lostness is never admitted. Where connection to Source is lost. Where competition is a virtue. Where a lot of women in bed is something to brag about.... 

That model no longer works. A real aka aware woman is no longer looking for a man who simply provides. She is looking for a man who knows who he is. Who knows where he is going. Who is connected to God within himself. If a man does not walk toward God, a woman is forced to walk ahead of him. And this disrupts the natural order. It creates tension. Not because the woman has become too strong. But because the man has stopped being direction. Eventually woman leaves... and waits for "better offers". 

Women are rising faster now. They are restoring their vertical axis. And only when a man is ready to meet this new kind of woman will he have access to the love and grace of life she carries. and speed to that amazing life... Until then, he will suffer. He will remain in the state of a boy searching for a mother, not a woman. I was given a compliment today that I looked skinny and simply amazing! that I was glowing! and I don't even work out that much anymore. I just don't feel lost in my direction anymore, I don't have to spend all my energy on proving anything, on worrying about making decisions, on worrying who will choose me or if I ever get any "clear offers"... I simply started to be alive... in my now... having fun as I go... 

Many men continue blaming their parents for not loving them enough. This may be true. But there comes a moment when this story loses its power. That moment comes when a man becomes responsible for his life. That typically is when you get your Driver's License.. or when you can start legally drink and drive... This is when he makes his real decisions. When he becomes accountable for his existence. From that moment, he can love himself. He can become the source of love within himself. Can you do better than your parents? Then do it! Stop blaming someone else for what they did perfectly already - THEY GAVE YOU YOUR FUCKING LIFE!

If he gets it, then he can stop waiting for a woman to save him... Woman is not a savor...  And this is the moment he stops being a boy. A man becomes a man not when a woman chooses him or makes decisions for him. He becomes a man when he chooses God. Not the religious dogmatic God, but his inner true God inside... When he stops seeking validation outside himself and begins walking his path. And then a woman amplifies his movement. Because a woman always amplifies. And life always amplifies the one who walks toward the source.

Only then true union is possible. because if you are happy and comfortable where you are, with the woman you have next to you, you wouldn't be checking out other women, would you? are you justifying it as a "male nature"? or you are simply avoiding a deeper conversation with yourself - am I unhappy because I live with my "mommy" and not a woman I actually want? and who stops you from your path? 

My dear men, wake the fuck up already! wondering why there is a chaos in our lives? NO FUCKING DIRECTION!