A lie is usually seen as the act of one person. In this picture, there is the one who lied and the one who was deceived. One becomes guilty, the other becomes the victim. Oh my favorite paradigm! This creates a sense of clarity and moral certainty for superiority (that is where the "victim" goes full moral judgemental bananas). Which means that the guilty one owes everything to the victim... until the "sin" is atoned... but we know that it would never be the case!
However, when you look deeper, it becomes clear that a lie never belongs to just one person. It arises within a relational field where both participants, consciously or unconsciously, take part in maintaining a certain version of "reality". A lie is not just the distortion of facts, it is a way of preserving emotional equilibrium in places where the truth would destabilize the structure that currently exists. This is the word of TRUE DEVIL, people! To preserve the form, not the essense inside of it. At any costs, even it it costs you your life... wow!
When one person lies, there is almost always another person who, in that moment, is unable to fully contain the truth... therefore he/she falls into manipulations, threats, hysteria - full blown Jerry Springer drama. This is not necessarily a conscious refusal to hear. More often, it is an internal threshold beyond which the truth becomes too "painful" or too destabilizing for the psyche and for that dead structure that is being supported. One person senses that honesty may lead to consequences, that is conflict, pain, the collapse of the relationship, or the need to make irreversible decisions. The other, even while asking for or even DEMANDING truth, may sincerely believe they are ready to hear it...
But on a deeper level, the nervous system is not seeking truth, it is seeking stability. It is seeking continuity, predictability, the preservation of what is known (the paradox of preferring suffering or violence because "I am used to it"). In that moment, the lie stops functioning as manipulation. It becomes something else entirely. It becomes a regulator of emotional tension within the relational system, a way to hold together a structure that may already be internally collapsing, but has not yet been allowed to fall. This raises a more uncomfortable and more honest question: how much life energy is a person willing to spend maintaining something that is no longer alive? How long can someone continue investing presence, time, emotional labor, and years of existence into preserving a form whose essence has already disappeared? At what point does preservation stop being "love" and start becoming resistance to reality?
There is a biological truth that mirrors this reality precisely. Your body is already in constant resistance to the environment. Life itself is not passive actually, it is an active process of self-regulation AGAINST entropy. If you are submerged in water, your body does not simply dissolve into it or starts absorbing more water internally through skin. It protects its internal balance. It does not absorb the environment indiscriminately. If you are in the desert, your body preserves water, reduces loss, adapts, regulates. It is always maintaining a boundary between itself and what surrounds it. Even your temperature tells the same story. Your body runs warmer than the environment. Did you know that? It generates heat continuously. This heat is not accidental. It is the signal of LIFE! Because the moment your body temperature fully aligns with the environment, the moment it no longer resists, no longer regulates, no longer maintains its internal difference... that is the moment life has left the system. A dead body does not regulate. It does not resist. It does not spend energy maintaining its integrity. It simply becomes identical to its surroundings. Same temperature as its environment...
To be alive is to spend energy constantly maintaining internal truth against external pressure.
This means something profound: you are already spending enormous energy simply to remain alive biologically. Every second, your nervous system, your cells, your metabolism, your entire organism is working to maintain coherence too. Life is not effortless. It is an active, ongoing act of self-preservation. Now consider what happens when, in addition to this biological expenditure, a person is also spending psychological and emotional energy maintaining illusions... They preserve the dead system.... Maintaining roles that no longer reflect truth... Maintaining relationships that no longer contain living presence... Maintaining identities that have already been outgrown....
This creates a second layer of energy expenditure, one that does not support life, but drains it.
And this is where the real turning point begins. Because growth, awareness, and expanded consciousness are not abstract ideas, they are energetic processes. Awareness itself requires energy. A person does not simply “become aware” by accident. First, they must be willing to see. And that willingness alone destabilizes the system that was built to avoid seeing, because at this moment you become that "seeker"... It's like in Matrix, Neo was searching for the answer "what is Matrix?" You become your own Neo... because you are willing to see... But that means something else - to become aware means to risk "stability". And what we often call stability is not life, it is the preservation of what has already ended. True life is never static, you can't preserve it really. Life always moves. Life always transforms and innovate itself. Life sheds old forms continuously and ruthlessly. So when a person begins to move toward awareness, they are not moving toward comfort! They are moving toward uncertainty. They are stepping out of structures that once defined them, that could be familiar identities, familiar roles, familiar emotional contracts, and into a space where the future is no longer guaranteed by the past. Because this is new!
But uncertainty requires energy. Transformation requires energy. And this creates a paradox. Because where will that energy come from if most of it is already being consumed by maintaining what is no longer alive? A person can spend years holding together a version of themselves that has already expired internally, investing emotional effort into preserving appearances, suppressing truth, maintaining continuity... I call it all - illusions! oh, they are so sweet! I love them! But I also know that they are not true. This constant internal resistance becomes a silent drain on life force.
Sometimes, energy appears through contact with another person, not because that person “completes” them, but because they interrupt the closed system. They introduce oxygen into a suffocating structure... Their presence reminds the nervous system what expansion feels like. Around them, breathing deepens. Perception sharpens. The body remembers movement. The person begins to feel parts of themselves that had been dormant, contained, or suppressed... It can feel as if something inside, long imprisoned, suddenly sees the possibility of freedom. Wings started growing behind their back... They see much further down the horizon... This is not because the other person gives them something they never had. It is because they temporarily stop the internal leak and focused them on the life, the process, the fun. They stop investing energy into preservation and begin redirecting it toward life. The nervous system recognizes the difference immediately. There is lightness. There is movement. There is the return of aliveness.
And then comes the moment of truth. The person can no longer pretend they do not know. They have now experienced both states — the contracted version of themselves and the expanded one. They must face themselves and recognize the distance between who they have been and who they are capable of becoming. They must decide from the heart whether to return to preserving the familiar structure, or to accept the uncertainty that comes with being fully alive. Because once life has been felt again, fully and honestly, the illusion of stability no longer feels like safety. It feels like confinement.
There is a powerful analogy here. Imagine being faced with the irreversible loss of your own consciousness: your body remaining biologically alive, but the essence that made you you no longer present. Would you truly want the people you love to preserve your body indefinitely, sacrificing their time, their resources, their emotional lives, their futures, simply to maintain the appearance of life (aka illusion of you)? Or would you recognize that asking them to remain bound to what is no longer truly there would require them to give up their own aliveness in exchange for your physical continuation? Because preserving a structure after its life has left it always requires sacrifice. It requires continuous input of energy to prevent collapse. It requires devotion not to what is real, but to what once was.
The most honest form of love does not demand that others stop living in order to preserve what has already ended. In fact, true love would want to free another to find their true joy, happiness in whatever makes them happy! The most honest form of love allows life to continue moving... maybe even withouy you... Love allows truth to dissolve forms that no longer contain living presence. Love releases energy back into the system, where it can once again serve life instead of illusion.
To live truthfully is not to destroy life. It is to stop spending life force resisting what life itself is already trying to transform.
This is what psychology describes as a co-dependent lie: an unspoken agreement to preserve an illusion. One person hides the truth to avoid aggression, pain, or loss. The other does not fully see, because fully seeing would require action they are afraid to take. This creates a fragile structure where everything appears stable on the surface, while internally a split already exists between reality and its representation. In this sense, the lie is not the cause of collapse. It is the symptom of a system that can no longer tolerate full contact with truth.
The root of this mechanism is almost always FEAR. Fear of losing love. Fear of rejection. Fear of causing pain. Fear of confronting one’s own imperfection. Many people learned to lie in childhood, when truth led to punishment, shame, or emotional withdrawal. The psyche internalized a simple equation: truth creates danger and concealment preserves safety. This pattern continues into adulthood automatically, even when a person consciously values honesty. In this way, a lie is not primarily an act of malice. It is a sign of an internal inability to withstand emotional reality.
It is also important to understand that lying does not always look like false statements. It often appears as silence, omission, deflection, or the performance of agreement where none exists. A person may say “everything is fine” when internally they feel empty. They may remain in relationships that have already ended internally. They may continue to perform a role long after its emotional reality has disappeared. In these situations, the lie preserves not the relationship itself, but the illusion of stability that protects both people from confronting change.
This mechanism exists everywhere. In friendships, people hide their distance to avoid loss. In professional environments, individuals agree externally while internally disengaging. In families, roles continue long after their living substance has faded. At the collective level, societies also rely on unspoken agreements not to fully confront truth, because truth demands transformation. The lie becomes a stabilizing force that maintains continuity even when authenticity has already left.
Moments like the Epstein files coming into public awareness are deeply revealing, not only because of what they expose, but because of how people react to them. There is outrage, disbelief, horror... People say, “How could this exist?” “How was this allowed?” “This is unimaginable.” And yet, beneath that reaction, there is something else, something quieter and more uncomfortable. Because on some level, many people always sensed that realities like this existed. Not necessarily in specific details, but as a general intuition about the structures of power, money, secrecy, and human behavior - what is not allowed for peasants is allowed for me. These things did not suddenly appear when they were exposed. They existed long before they became visible. What changed was not their existence, but our ability or willingness to see them directly. Exposure does not create darkness. It reveals what was already present...
What becomes shocking is not only the events themselves, but the realization of how easily entire societies can function alongside truths they do not fully confront. People build lives, homes, careers, families, routines, within systems whose deeper layers remain unexamined... Not because they consciously approve of harm, because the mind naturally protects "stability". It filters, minimizes, avoids what threatens the sense of order. Remember what happened to Maria Farmer? She was one of the first people to formally report Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell to law enforcement, and she did so very early, in 1996, nearly a decade before Epstein’s first public criminal case in 2005–2008. What happened to her?
Here are the verified facts about her situation:
Maria Farmer... the first known whistleblower (1996)
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Maria Farmer was a young artist who became connected to Epstein and Maxwell in the mid-1990s.
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In 1996, she reported Epstein and Maxwell to the FBI and NYPD, alleging sexual assault and exploitation.
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This was the first known criminal complaint filed against Epstein.
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At the time, no meaningful investigation followed, and Epstein continued operating freely for years afterward.
Maria Farmer has stated publicly that:
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She was not taken seriously by authorities.
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She was treated as unreliable or dismissed.
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She felt intimidated and unsafe after reporting.
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Her claims were effectively ignored until much later, when other victims came forward.
She was ignored at the time because the systems she reported to were not structured to prioritize truth over stability. Epstein’s wealth and powerful social connections created an invisible shield around him, making institutions hesitant to confront someone embedded within influential networks. At the same time, credibility bias worked against her, a young woman without status or institutional backing was unconsciously viewed as less reliable than a wealthy, respected man. Institutions themselves are also driven by self-preservation. They instinctively resist information that threatens their reputation, hierarchy, or sense of order, because acknowledging such truth would require disruption, accountability, and risk. And perhaps most critically, she was one voice alone. Without multiple simultaneous accusations, it was easier for the system to minimize, delay, or dismiss her claims, allowing the illusion of normalcy to remain intact. We are all guilty! Ignorance is a bliss... right? how many lives we had to sacrifice between now and 1996? we all pay for this illusion of stability...
Collective illusions form the same way personal illusions do. Not through explicit agreement, but through silence, avoidance, and the unconscious preference for psychological safety over disruption. It is easier to live within a coherent narrative of normalcy than to face the full complexity of reality.
When truth surfaces, it does more than expose events. It exposes the mechanisms of avoidance themselves. It reveals how much of reality exists outside the boundaries of what people allow themselves to consciously acknowledge. I had an epiphany yesterday that I am in the new reality, but... I do not know the new words yet to describe it. Yes, our reality is FORMED by linguistics. You see only what you can describe. I will write about it in another post sometime... I am just enjoying the new awareness and feelings inside for now...
Let's go back... - It reveals how much of reality exists outside the boundaries of what people allow themselves to consciously acknowledge. This does not mean people are inherently malicious. It means the psyche is structured to preserve stability. But awareness begins the moment a person stops turning away. The moment they stop saying, “This cannot be,” and instead allow themselves to see, “This is, actually is.” Because truth does not arrive when something begins. Truth arrives when something is finally seen.
At the same time, the person being lied to often senses the discrepancy unconsciously. The nervous system detects micro-signals: tone, distance, inconsistency, energetic withdrawal, strange behaviors etc. Even if the conscious mind accepts the words, the body knows something is misaligned. This creates chronic tension, often experienced as anxiety, doubt, or subtle emotional insecurity. This is where the controls appears, the other type of "seeker" is born - monitor and control. Trust rarely collapses suddenly. It erodes gradually, until the relationship becomes more like a stage set than a living connection.
The deepest form of lying does not happen between people. It happens within the individual first. It happens when a person knows their truth but refuses to acknowledge it. When they remain where life has already ended internally. When they preserve an image of reality that no longer reflects what they actually feel. In this way, external deception always mirrors an internal split between lived experience and conscious admission.
And eventually, there comes a moment when a person can no longer sustain that split. well, I only want to hope that the moment like this comes... It may not though... at least not in my lifetime... oh, well...
Truth does not usually emerge as aggression. It emerges as exhaustion. As the inability to continue performing a reality that no longer exists internally. Truth begins as vulnerability, as the willingness to stop protecting the illusion. I started practicing my own internal truth by standing in front of the mirror and saying my own truth out loud looking into my own eyes. Almost immediately tears came, and at the same time huge pride for myself - how brave I can be to acknowledge it like this, how fearless I can be, how healing I actually am!
This is how such truth may sound when a person finally begins to speak it:
There’s something I need to tell you. And I’ve delayed this conversation for a long time. Not because I didn’t know the truth, but because I was afraid of what would change once I said it out loud. I want you to understand that I never intended to hurt you, I was just trying not to die inside completely. And in many ways, that’s exactly why I stayed silent, so I don't hurt you. I believed that if I preserved everything as it was, if I didn’t give voice to what was happening inside me, I could protect you and protect the life we built. But over time, I realized I was slowly disappearing inside that silence. On the outside, I was still present. I still showed up. I still said the right words. But inside, I felt emptiness growing. And I was afraid to admit that I no longer felt the same wholeness I once did. That I am a different person today than when we got married. This didn’t happen suddenly. It was gradual. I kept hoping it would shift on its own. That if I waited, if I stayed patient, something would return. But the truth is, I was preserving the structure because I was afraid of what honesty would dismantle. I suspect that on some level, you may have felt it too. Because these things cannot be completely hidden. And I’m sorry it took me so long to face this. I didn't want to deceive you, I wasn’t ready to face it myself. This is not about you being insufficient. This is about me no longer being able to live in a state where my external life and my internal truth do not align. That internal division has been eroding me. I am not saying this to hurt you. I am saying this because, for the first time in a long time, I want to be completely honest. Even if it changes everything. I don’t know exactly what comes next. But I do know I can no longer remain inside a reality where I am physically present but internally absent wanting something else. That would be dishonest to you. And dishonest to myself.
You deserve someone who is fully alive, fully present, and not hiding behind fear. And I no longer want to be someone who stays simply because I am afraid of truth. I’m sorry it took me so long to reach this point. But I can’t continue running from reality. I want to live in truth now. That’s the only thing that feels real.
This is what truth may sound like when a person stops protecting illusion and begins restoring their internal integrity. It does not attack. It does not accuse. It simply ends the internal division between what is felt and what is expressed.
Truth requires the capacity to withstand consequence. It requires emotional maturity, the ability to remain present even when reality transforms familiar structures. When both people can tolerate truth, the need for deception dissolves, because the fear that sustained it dissolves as well. The relationship either transforms into something real, or it completes its natural ending. But in both cases, illusion no longer governs reality.
A lie, then, is not simply an individual act. It is a boundary marker: the point at which a relational system reaches the limit of its ability to tolerate truth. It reveals the level of readiness each person has to see and be seen. And the essential question is not who lied. The essential question is whether both people are willing to face what is real. Because truth does not destroy what is alive. It only dissolves what has already ended. And what remains afterward is no longer sustained by fear, but by reality itself.
But all this requires maturity...
and at last... Lessons from Shiva on power and doubt:
Once, people asked Shiva whether they were allowed to smoke the divine herb, ganja. Shiva answered, “No.” The people were surprised. “But why do you smoke it constantly, and forbid it to us?” Shiva pulled the hookah closer, placed into it a piece of ganja the size of a galaxy, ignited it with the flare of a nearby star, inhaled deeply, and spoke through the smoke:
“When I smoke this herb, each inhale becomes a new line of the Mahabharata, and each exhale becomes an entire chapter of the Upanishads. But when ordinary people smoke it, each inhale becomes a search for imaginary meaning, and each exhale becomes emptiness and disappointment.”
Shiva answered this way because one who asks for permission must always be refused. You cannot trust one who doubts, doubt makes a person weak. The strong never ask what they are allowed to do and what they are not allowed to do... even if sometimes they experience doubt.
Reflection: on internal authorization for success
This parable is not about smoking. It is about the scale of the individual and the right to act. Shiva refuses people not out of cruelty, but because the very act of asking reveals their unreadiness. When a person asks, “Am I allowed?”, they are admitting that they lack an inner axis. They are seeking authority outside themselves, hoping someone else will assume responsibility for their choices.
In business and creative work
Think of entrepreneurs or artists. Those who constantly ask others, “Do you think my idea will work?” often fail. Their confidence depends on external validation. A true creator, like Shiva in the parable, simply creates their own Mahabharata. They do not wait for the market’s approval. They define the market itself. “Stop being the effect of your environment, and start being the cause of it.” (c) Joe Dispenza
In decision-making
A person who endlessly searches for the “right” path often remains frozen and on no path at all. Doubt becomes a leak through which all energy escapes. For example, a woman wants to change her career. She asks her husband, her friends, psychics... She receives ten different opinions and becomes paralyzed. The opposite scenario: she feels an internal impulse and acts. Within months, her life reorganizes itself. She did not need permission, because the impulse itself was already the action.
In personal boundaries
The one who asks, “Am I allowed to stand up for myself?” has already surrendered their power. Strength does not require external authorization. It emerges naturally, like breath. If you doubt your right to move forward, reality reflects that doubt back to you.
The conclusion is simple: the world opens to those who act from internal maturity. The strong do not wait for a path to appear. They create it.
as we say back home - who doesn't risk, doesn't drink champagne!