There’s a very convenient idea spreading right now. “I live in the flow.” “I follow what I feel.” “I’m not attached to outcomes.” And under that, you can hide almost anything: avoiding choice, avoiding responsibility, consequences... avoiding the work of bringing something into form (it will happen whether you like it or not). It sounds like freedom, but in reality it’s a miserable life without structure, without grounding, without the capacity to hold what you yourself open.

You see it most clearly in relationships. Two people meet, feel something very powerful, open each other, activate states that don’t just happen randomly. And then the real part begins. One says, “this is beautiful, let’s just feel it.” The other is left with a body that has already opened, processes that have already started, energy that doesn’t just disappear. Because energy never disappears. It always moves forward. The only question is whether it moves into form or dissolves into chaos. In nature, nothing gets wasted, this energy will be recycled... for someone else to use it! This is where the real difference shows.

Living in ambiguity is not some rare gift. Most of the time, it’s a very refined way of avoiding choice. Ambiguity sounds expansive, intelligent, like you are above limitation. But the reality is much simpler. We are all living inside constraints. We have bodies (bodies can't fly, live uder water, live on Mars etc.). We have time. We have consequences. You cannot be in two places at once. You cannot build something and not build it at the same time. You cannot fully open something and pretend it has no direction.

The body itself does not live in ambiguity. It is always concrete. It reacts, it opens, it closes, it holds, or it rejects. It cannot “half choose.” It cannot “float between outcomes.” It knows exactly what is happening, even when the mind tries to stay undefined... for convenient purposes telling so many wonderful stories, how you can't be understood by anyone because of the life choices. Right! I bet people don't get it at all, because it is not possible. 

Ambiguity, in that sense, becomes a mental construct: a space where the mind delays commitment while reality is already moving forward. In theory, pure ambiguity would mean existing without attachment to any form, any outcome, any direction. But in practice, this is almost never real. Because the same person who claims to live in ambiguity still chooses structure somewhere. Even a structure of having meals, going to a bathroom, sleep at night... That is a structure of a form called "schedule" or "need to live". So with this constuct of mind these people show up to certain commitments and they do maintain certain relationships and they protect certain parts of their life with clarity and precision! 

So what looks like ambiguity is often selective. They actually don't like ambiguity that much in some important areas of their lives... or somewhere they are simply don't have courage... It appears exactly in those places where choice would require responsibility, where direction would create consequences, where commitment to a path would limit other options. And a person can't sit on two chairs for long... 

And that’s the key distinction. Ambiguity is not the absence of structure. It is the postponing of structure... usually in the places where it matters the most. And life doesn’t wait for the mind to decide. Energy moves. Actions accumulate. Impact happens. So even when someone says, “I’m staying in ambiguity,” something is already being created anyway... something else! The only question is whether they are choosing it consciously… or letting it form by default, by fear.  

When it’s time to name something, define it, take responsibility, the person retreats into “it’s complicated,” “it’s not black and white,” “I don’t want to limit the flow.” And yet, in other areas of life, they live with structure just fine. They have stability, predictability, clear decisions, plans, rituals, traditions etc. Just not everywhere... Only where it benefits them! That’s not depth, and it is not truth...  that’s selective "freedom". I can't even call it "freedom", because these people are always tense! Image the level of control! 

And here’s the layer almost no one names directly. Attachment to sex. Not as connection, not as intimacy, but as constant discharge... dependency of that...  As something that has to happen again and again... This isn’t about pleasure or lvoe. It’s about dependency on a state. And as long as someone is inside that dependency, they cannot hold energy. They will look for somewhere to release it. Through people. Through situations. Through whatever is available. We can see this sadly everywhere. I call is a consumer mentality - take. We see how we treat everything as consumers and that the world owes us everything. The mentality of being a consumer like this is strong. I see it in people on well fair...  I see it at work... in relationships... how we treat Earth and animals etc. and even God - he owes us whatever we want! 

This is where control enters. Because a person who cannot withstand their own sexual energy becomes easy to direct through it. They think they are choosing, but in reality they are following tension they don’t know how to hold. And this doesn’t expand freedom, it reduces it. The stronger the dependency, the narrower the life. And eventually, it leads to isolation. Because no relationship can sustain being used as a place for discharge instead of a space for creation. They don't have discipline to hold it! Noone taught them! I have GK 21 and I used to be upset about it... And now I look at it and I see how it played good and bad roles for me. I see how this gate gave me discipline and sometimes strictness around resources...

The meaning of sex changes completely these days with me. It’s not just physical... It’s not just emotional... It’s creative energy! Energy that can build not only relationships, but reality itself, it builds LIFE! This used to be understood. It wasn’t scattered everywhere. It was held... Directed... Used consciously... Not for “feeling good,” but for bringing something into existence. This is not about suppression. And it’s not about denial. It’s about not pouring what you have into the first available outlet... It’s about choice... Discipline around this energy. Do I use this as fuel for creation, or as a way to relieve pressure? Because the outcomes are completely different. In one case, something takes form. In the other, it becomes just another experience that leads nowhere... 

Strong energy is not a gift in the way people imagine. It’s responsibility. Because if you can’t hold it, it will start to break things. Not because it’s bad! It break things because it’s larger than your current capacity to carry it! And then all this “living in the flow” becomes a polished way of describing chaos. You simply can't hold it... And you know what nature does? It takes it away from you! Whatever is misused and not balanced, it will bring it to balance. For women it may be a desease that would require a surgery to remove everything... for men - erection issues... for both - cancer is typical... 

Discipline is not control. It’s the ability to focus, hold and then direct what moves through you. It’s the capacity to follow something all the way into form. It’s honesty: if I open this, I take responsibility for what it becomes. Otherwise, don’t open it. Because this is never neutral... 

And at some point, it becomes very clear. You are not a “free spirit floating in sensation.” You are either someone who has learned to hold their power… or someone who keeps dispersing it, calling that freedom.