People often ask strange questions. For example: can prayer protect you? Can prayer heal you?But that question sounds similar to asking: “How do you cure a disease?” Which disease? At what stage? How did it develop? What has been happening with the person before that?

When a question is this vague, it cannot really be answered.

The same thing happens with prayer. Many people think prayer is a universal tool. You say the words, you ask for something, and somewhere above it should start working. Yet most prayers never rise anywhere. Not because God cannot hear them, but because the person is not truly praying.

Real prayer is a state of the entire being. It is when a person prays with their whole heart, with all their cells, with their whole existence, and often with tears. It is not a request like: give me money, help me, heal me. 

And yet this is exactly how most people speak to God.

For many people God turns into something strange, a hybrid of an ATM and a doctor. The ATM should give money. The doctor should cure illnesses. If you imagine these two functions merged into one being, that is often the entire concept of God people carry. Nothing more. No relationship. No love. No knowledge. Many people love God only for one reason: so that God will love them back and give them benefits... and maybe we can show off to others how righteous we are... 

But is love possible without expecting a reward? Can we love God simply because He exists? Without the horn of plenty... Without transactions... Without bargaining... What often happens between a person and God resembles a contract. A person says: I will believe, I will donate, I will follow the rules. And You, please take care of my prosperity. It sounds like a deal. I give you prayers. You give me blessings.

But if we look honestly at this situation, it becomes almost ironic. People give charity and believe they are giving something to God. Yet they are giving from money they themselves received through life, work, opportunity, inheritanceююю everything that was already given to them. What exactly did the person give? Nothing! That is why following commandments has nothing to do with receiving a reward. Commandments exist not so that a person receives something, but because living in that way is the very reason human beings were created. Commandments were created not to scare you that you wouldn't receive something at the end, it is all about the process of living your life in your now. 

Most people simply do not understand this.

And yet every human being makes mistakes. There is a saying: only God makes no mistakes. King Solomon wrote in Ecclesiastes: “The righteous fall seven times and rise again.” Seven here is symbolic. Like the seven days of the week. It means that even the righteous fall. Even the wise can fail. Even the saint can stumble. The real question is never about falling. The question is whether a person is capable of rising again. I fall and rise. Fall and rise. Like everyone else. I make mistakes and try to correct them. Sometimes it is something very simple. You hurt someone, and later you find the strength to come and ask for forgiveness. For many people this is almost impossible. Pride becomes their idol. There is a thought in the Talmud that a proud person resembles an idol worshiper. Because he/she has made an idol out of himself. Such a person cannot bow his head. Cannot admit a mistake. Cannot ask for forgiveness... Even though they may go to church every day! Yet if you have caused pain, the most natural thing is to come and say: forgive me. 

Life is short. People die. And sometimes we do not manage to say the most important words in time. There is another thought that has always struck me. Sometimes people say that one of the worst sins is stealing someone’s time. Money can be returned. Debt can be repaid. Even health can sometimes be restored. But time can never be returned.

And that is why time is the most subtle form of life. You cannot touch it, yet everything we are is measured through it. We measure our lives not in weight or distance, but in days lived. Sometimes time is stolen brutally. Sometimes quietly. Sometimes it happens inside complicated human knots where lives intertwine, where people hold each other with promises, uncertainty, hopes, and unspoken words. In such situations there is rarely a single person to blame. People become caught in a strange geometry of relationships where each person delays the life of another in some way. Someone continues to hold a person who should long ago have gone their own path. Someone cannot close a door, leaving another suspended in uncertainty. Someone waits, hoping tomorrow clarity will arrive. Someone postpones conversations, decisions, truth. And slowly a circle forms. Inside this circle people may love, suffer, hope... yet at the same time they begin quietly stealing the most valuable thing from each other: time. Not from cruelty. Not from calculation. Sometimes from fear. Sometimes from weakness. Sometimes from the desire not to hurt anyone.

But time continues to pass. People got stuck in the Ego game, but life goes on... and the time keeps ticking day after day... after day...  Sometimes one person delays another. Sometimes another holds a third. Sometimes between two people there appears a strange space of waiting where both remain paused, neither moving forward nor allowing the other to move forward. And at some moment a painful realization appears: while we postpone, delay, and hope that things will resolve themselves, we are already participating in a silent theft.

The theft of life. Because time is life. And that is why honesty, even when it hurts, can sometimes become an act of love. Not only toward another person, but toward life itself. When we stop holding, stop postponing, stop hiding behind uncertainty, we return to people something that can never be given back later.  Their time.

But perhaps the deepest confusion exists around the word faith itself. In Russian it is 

Вѣра

If we look at this word through ancient symbolic meanings of letters, a very different picture emerges.

The first letter V means to know, to be aware, to carry wisdom.
In ancient language the sound that followed symbolized the union between heaven and the material world (reminds me of the magic been that grew into the skies...) 
Then come the sounds R and A.

In many ancient traditions Ra symbolized light. The source of light. however... 
The sound R carries the image of movement, of speech flowing like a river. A river leaves its source and divides the land into two shores. So, R is something you SELECTED from. A - mean the Source! So, it separates a stream of light (wisdom, something new) from the origin and makes it visible. Something that was once unified becomes expressed.

When these images are combined, something remarkable appears.

Вѣра originally meant knowing and transmitting (parts of) wisdom (light) from the Source into the material world, when a fragment of light separates from the source and becomes living knowledge.

This is not blind obedience. Right? Not a list of rules. Not forcing yourself to believe something. 

And here a paradox appears. Very often faith becomes an attempt to convince yourself of something you have never experienced and do not truly know. In that sense faith can sometimes lead people into deep confusion about how life actually works.

Let me give a very simple example. Think about your favorite berry. Maybe raspberries, strawberries, or blueberries. If you love strawberries, do you need to believe that you love strawberries? Or do you simply know that you love them? When you are with someone who makes you feel fully alive, do you need to believe that this person makes you feel alive? 

Of course not. We do not believe what we already know. We simply know. But we choose to believe stories that other people tell us... we allow to be disconnected from the Source, from our Life, from our Power... And that is why when someone says, “I believe in God,” it often sounds to me like a signal that the person does not truly know God. Because if you knew God, belief would not be necessary. Direct knowledge does not require belief. So what I suggest to people is very simple, and at the same time very difficult. Do not search for faith. Search for that direct knowing. FEEL it inside. 

God sees human beings very differently from how we see each other. We see appearance. A smile. Good manners. We think: this is a good person. But God sees far more. He sees the entire path of a person. Their past. Their ancestors. Their inner world. Their intentions. Their thoughts. Every thought, every word, every action leaves an imprint on the soul. Some people carry a fragrance from within. Being near them feels calm, clear, and warm. Others carry something that resembles inner decay. And often they do not even realize it. They come and begin asking. Money. Success. A husband. A wife. Long life. Health. And more money. And more. And more. That becomes their prayer. Yet there are also people who do not need a temple or church to encounter God. They already have that connection within themselves. And there are many beautiful people who go to churches, mosques, and synagogues and live deeply spiritual lives. The problem is not the form. The problem is that souls are different. Some souls simply cannot march in formation. Their nature is different. And breaking such people by force makes no sense. They need to be loved. In truth, people need far more love than fear. I have never liked frightening people with stories of hell, punishment, or divine wrath. Those stories coming from "spiritual leaders" always made me angry... Those images exist in traditions, but spirituality built on fear keeps people childish and infantile. Those people are afraid to go to the bathroom without "moomy's" approval... Love makes people mature. If you want to show love for God, show it through how you treat people. Become kinder. Become wiser. Become cleaner inside. And stop being a theirf of their time... 

And when people ask: does God punish? The question itself often comes from a strange image of God. Some imagine God as a cosmic prison warden. But God is not the head of a prison. God is a Father. Sometimes a father must cause pain to save a child’s life. A surgeon cutting  infected tissue causes terrible pain, yet he does it to save the body. Sometimes difficult things happen in human life. Loss. Crisis. Collapse. And it may feel like punishment. But perhaps it is surgery. There is an ancient understanding: God never does evil. In Russian "evil" is ЗЛО - it is not the opposite to kindness. In fact Kindness is ДОБРО - it just means that you are "whole" - what's inside is outside and vs. verca... ЗЛО is when you are separeted, when you are SO separated that there is an abyss between two shores...  

So, God never does evil. Never. You do! You decide to separate. You chose to be afraid. 

God may stop us. He may shatter our illusions. He may strike our pride. But none of it comes from cruelty. It comes from love. And that is why everything ultimately comes down to a single simple sentence. 

I do not believe in God. I live with Him. And He lives in me. I am His beloved child.